Words and Music by Fred Gilbert(1894)

Song Sheet.

Twelve months ago with decent chances,
Prospects of success in lif,
Thru' foolish love of ballroom dances,
Trouble came,-I met my wife;
Such a noble, buxom creature
She in my eyes then appeared.
False she was, though fair of feature,
Like a salmon I was speared.

She told me her age was five and twenty.
Cash in the bank of course she'd plenty.
I like a lamb believed it all,
I was an M - U - G.
At Trinity church I met my doom.
Now we live in a top back room.
Up to my eyes in debt for renty,
That's what she's done for me!

In bridal dress with frills and flounces,
'Pon my word, she did look fine!
Quite sixteen stone and some odd ounces,
Weighed then this dear wife of mine.
People whispered she had money
(Oh! what tales some folks will tell.)
She was simply sixteen stoney-
What a swindle - what a sell!


When she confessed I'd scarce believe her,
Though at last the truth she told;
She hadn't got a bloomin' fiver -
She was thirty six years old.
I can only grin and bear it;
Poor indeed in my estate.
She, poor girl is forced to share it.
Down will drop her mortal weight.